not liking this.

i just thought that we were friends. that i meant something to you, but i was wrong. it's fine, i was just iluded by your attention and none of this is your fault. it's all mine. you met me at the absolute lowest point i could be, i had no one, except you, and it seemed like as if you also had no one, but i guess it was just a ploy. i'm okay, i always am. don't ever worry about me again. instead of forevevevever and ever, now it's nevevevever and ever.

alone.

i know that love isn't a metaphor for happiness and that you don't need a boyfriend to feel complete. but everyday i see couples, everyday more of my friends start a new a relationship or confess their love to someone, and usually i don't care about those things. but everyday it is getting worse and i start caring more and i start wanting this as well, but it just makes me realise how alone i am. and i know that i have friends, but they have their lives, and i dont know, but everything is just becoming too much. maybe this urge came up because it is spring, or whatever. but i just want it to disappear, i want to be happy alone again! and i don't want to feel bad because i am alone...